Bacon Candy Canes

'Tis the season to be sizzlin'.

Inflatable Toast Mattress

"Breakfast in bed? No, breakfast IS the bed! Sleeping on this giant 6' by 7' Inflatable Toast Mattress is likely to make you dream that you are a pad of butter and that you are floating down a river of freshly brewed coffee. In reality, you should not use the Inflatable Toast Mattress as a flotation device nor should you expose it to excessive heat. This piece of toast is made of plastic, not bread, so if you wake up and smell burning toast, you are probably just having a stroke."

Super Fun French Fries Phone

For use when scheduling hasty abortions.

The Go Plate

Best.Invention.Ever.

Gama-Go Unicorn Corn Holders

Untamable nature my ass!

The 14,450 Gumball Machine

Don't worry kid, I'm an ephebophiliac.

Mo's Bacon Bar

I just threw up in my mouth a little, and it kinda tasted like ice cream so i think i'm gonna skip dessert and go home.

The Incredible Edible Anus

WARNiNG: May contain peanuts.